I’ve got this goo on my hands and I can’t put it down anywhere because it'll ... anyway, this is not the best moment for me to be writing. I’m - Oh yuck! Hang on … I’m dictating and my computer’s writing it all down.

Computer, phone Luca Blanco. Hello, Luca? Can you come over? I need another pair of hands. And can you pick up the you-know-what-generator on the way down because I need it like, NOW! Like ten minutes ago! But don’t push any buttons! NO BUTTON PUSHING!!! Or Landfill will be just a stream of gamma rays spewing out into space and who knows how many dimensions -

Hmmm ... News is coming up … Oh, but I’m already taking the Superball. Anyway I’ll see you soon. Make it quick. Bye.

Where was I? About me, yes. Um, I invent things. I go to Landfill Public School. It’s pretty close to where I live. Luca’s my best friend and he’s a neighbour, he lives in my street. He’s the one who’s coming over here now but I guess you got that. Maybe you heard about my rocket-ship adventure? They still talk about it at school. Then there was the Time Machine. I don’t have that anymore.

I’m working on a few things at the moment. The goo, of course. Where IS Luca? And I’m building a White Noise Generator. It’s easy enough to make, but the tricky part is tuning it to a specific person so it only blocks them out. There’s this girl called Mary-Alice Cooper: the three of us are the only kids on Periwinkle Crescent, and Periwinkle Crescent's kind of off by itself in the bush. So Mary-Alice won’t leave us alone and she talks and talks and talks and - well we need something that’s like, she’ll still be talking, but we won’t have to listen to her.

What else can I tell you … Oh Luca! Hooray! Computer, stop dictation!